Consent
Consent at dance is such an important topic at any dance but conscious dance events tend to do consent particularly well! I like to think we cover it pretty well in our book "The Little Book of Dance Inspiration", so here's that entire chapter:
Always at Choice
In this life, you are always at choice. Always.
Dance workshops like contact improv often get physically challenging. As a grown-ass adult, you can choose to sit out any activity that might cause physical harm or high emotional discomfort. Internalize that. Remember that. Honor that.
If asked to dance, choose to own your yes or your no. At any stage of a conscious dance, even ten seconds in, you can choose to leave without a word. Dance away with a smile... or without. In most conscious spaces there is a healthy awareness that you don’t owe other dancers a long goodbye, and that nothing here should be taken personally. Maybe you simply want to drink water, change shirts (you gorgeous sweaty human), or break wind. No explanation is needed.
Gone is any pressure felt in formal dances to people please or remain in an awkward embrace for the rest of the song. Use this dance floor as a space to practice your no. That said, acknowledging the vulnerability and humanity of the person with whom you just shared - however briefly - is a beautiful gesture. If you are struggling to leave, sometimes a thank you is the acknowledgment that frees you to honor your no.
Finding Consent
If someone invites you into a dance, feel into yourself.
The decision is yours alone, do not be coerced.
In a conscious event, you can leave a dance at any time.
A conscious dancer will celebrate you, and pay it no mind.
Stretching your comfort is sometimes wonderful.
But honoring your body is the most critical skill to grow.
If it’s not “hell yes”, then it probably means “no”.
General Guidelines for Consent
Of all the dances in the world, consent is the most important dance that we should all aspire to master. To say no to a dance, you can directly decline, kindly avert your gaze, or respectfully dance away. Best of all, politely bow using namaste hands.
If you receive a no, reciprocate with a bow. It’s okay to ask again later, but only twice in one day, a third-time borders on harassment. These are great rules for all types of consent. If someone says yes with an unsure face, it is a no.
If it’s not “hell yes”, it is a “no”. They will adore you more if you recognize their uncertainty and come back another day. Take as long as you want. Trust is not something you can rush.